In times of modern love, infidelity has also found its types! There is physical infidelity and emotional infidelity. The latter can always make a person question whether an emotional affair means cheating on their partner… After all, physical intimacy is not at stake. However, what may seem like faithfulness to you may seem like a definite sign of cheating on your partner!
According to Life Coach Rashi Gaur, a partner can set up an external or extramarital emotional affair that can feel like a healthy and harmless connection. The truth, she says, is that “emotional infidelity is far more dangerous than sexual infidelity.”
Emotional Infidelity and Why Does It Hurt?
Here is someone who will make you feel validated, understood, cared for and maybe even special. It helps you create a fantasy world, a happy bubble. Here are two people who accept each other for who they are and not for the roles they play in their respective lives. This is a perfect ingredient to turn into a deep, intense romantic liaison. The ease of staying in touch 24/7 and the privacy of messaging today only makes the process of an emotional affair that much easier. It’s so easy to connect or reconnect with an ex-lover, an old friend, or even a work colleague outside of work hours. It’s just a click away. But what if you are the partner who ends up emotionally unfaithful?
Emotional cheating can be worse! Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Let’s say you’ve already found out that your spouse or partner was having an emotional affair with someone who was only supposed to be a friend. It’s a hurtful, heartbreaking, helpless feeling to be abandoned by someone who should be yours. It was you all along. And then suddenly an outsider takes that place. What hurts the most is that your special one opened up that space for someone else. So how do you deal with infidelity or emotional betrayal?
7 tips for dealing with infidelity
Rashi Gaur shares the following ways to maturely deal with a partner’s emotional infidelity.
1. To forgive or not to forgive?
Whatever it is, if the love you both felt for each other still lingers, you may want to forgive your partner. As they say, it takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive. Every relationship deserves a chance and where there is love there is room for healing. Healing begins when the heart is ready to forgive. The process is not easy. This takes time, but as long as there is a desire to repair the relationship even after the infidelity, forgiveness is important.
Learn the benefits of forgiveness in this Health Shots video!
2. Communication is key
There can never be a way forward if everything is swept under the rug. Just wishing it away is like a slow poison that will eventually lead to the death of that relationship. You need to address it, talk it through, question it, talk about it, express the pain you’ve felt, and most importantly, allow them to express themselves too. No matter how painful it is, speaking it up is half the battle when it comes to dealing with infidelity.
Communicate what you feel. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
3. No finger pointing, please
It won’t help to blame either one. Instead, ask her and you what went wrong in your relationship. This will be your biggest lesson in dealing with infidelity. Was it boredom, a lack of communication, one of you was too busy or did you stop doing fun things together because of life happening? These are easy to fix. When realization comes, pick up the missing pieces and start working on your relationship. Every relationship takes effort. It will take time, but it’s not impossible.
Work on yourself. The pain of betrayal is overwhelming.
4. Surrender to self-love to overcome infidelity
Focus on one form of exercise or join a group class like yoga or aerobics. Incorporating best practices into your daily routine clears the foggy mind and helps relieve anger — two key ingredients to problem solving. Surround yourself with good friends. Even if you don’t discuss the issue with them because it’s too personal for you, a hearty laugh with the friends who are your support system will help you deal with it better.
Do not forget to love yourself! Image courtesy: Shutterstock
5. Accept help when you need it
If you don’t have the strength to do this on your own, get someone to help you. You don’t have to do this alone. Engage someone who will look at this with an open mind and offer perspective. It can be a professional counselor, parents, older siblings, or even family-like friends.
In a world where white and black are slowly moving towards gray, you have the option to fill them with the color of your choice!