Does your significant other have a secret stash of cash?
A new survey found that 4 in 10 people in a serious relationship commit financial infidelity with their partner. But with Millennials it’s 51%, which is higher than Gen Xers or Baby Boomers.
According to the CreditCards.com report, financial infidelity can consist of spending more money than it would be okay for an affiliate to have a secret savings or checking account or credit card, or even have secret debts.
New Jersey psychotherapist Stacey Rose said finances are a very hot topic with couples of all ages because we all grow up with different messages about money.
“When millennials grew up hearing things like, don’t tell anyone how much you make. It would make a lot of sense for them to get into their most important relationships and not share things,” she said.
She said keeping financial secrets is no different from any other kind of betrayal
“Whether it’s an emotional matter, a sexual matter, someone who has an addiction, there’s a part of them that they don’t share with their partner, and that to me is treason,” said Rose.
She pointed out that keeping this type of information secret from a partner can have a deleterious ripple effect because once they find out, “allows the other person to challenge anything”.
“Can I trust that you really love me? Can I trust that you said I looked really good last night? Everything is questioned when there is a lie in a relationship,” she said.
Rose said people could keep financial secrets for many reasons, including self-doubt and embarrassment.
She said it was important to remember that everyone brings the baggage of their childhood into adult relationships.
“To be really honest, it takes a lot of courage to be so vulnerable in a relationship, and yet it’s vital,” she said.
She said that in situations where someone has kept a financial secret but decides to “come clean” and tell their partner, it is important to first explain why the information was withheld in the first place.
Rose said a key component in creating a healthy relationship is “being able to share something with your partner that he won’t throw in your face in a fight, so that you can be sure to show off all of your strengths. your mistakes and everything and they still love you. “
You can contact reporter David Matthau at David.Matthau@townsquaremedia.com
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