LOVE ABBY: I’ve been married to a lovely woman for 40 years. I recently found out that after five years of our marriage, she was having an affair with a friend of ours. It took several weeks for them to meet at our home for lunch.
My wife doesn’t know that this friend who recently found a religion confessed to me. I had suspected it for a few years. Should I tell her I know or just carry on like nothing happened?
– IN THE KNOWLEDGE IN ILLINOIS
LOVE IN KNOWLEDGE: I cannot imagine the justification with which this “friend” tried to clear his conscience by telling you something that could destroy your marriage. The punishment for his guilt should have been the burden of burying it without sharing it with you. If his admission is undermining your relationship with your wife, tell her what you have been told so that you can discuss it.
Contact DearAbby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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