DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 36 years. Ask anyone who knows us and they will say we are the perfect couple – no big issues, loving, trusting etc. I was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia three years ago and my wife was a godsend . I couldn’t ask for a better partner.
I heard her on the phone the other day and something she said caught my attention. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she cheated. She said it happened two or three times, two or three years ago with her first boyfriend from college. He had contacted her to meet for coffee and he kissed her. The next time he came to our town, they met in his hotel room and had sex. Abby, I’m devastated, but there’s nothing I can do. I am 50% dependent on her and it will increase. She said I can ask her anything and she will answer me honestly. I haven’t yet because I’m still in shock. Please help me figure out what to do. — FEW OPTIONS IN NEVADA
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LOVE FEW OPTIONS: I can only imagine how hurt you must be and for that you have my sympathy. Since you need your wife to take care of you during your illness, the most obvious thing I can suggest is that you don’t ask her such questions. Your infidelity may have happened because she was devastated by the medical diagnosis you just received. The healthiest thing for both of you would be to respect her honesty and forgive her weak moments.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my 45-year-old boyfriend “Doug” for six years. His mother, who was widowed five years ago, moved here to Florida from New Jersey. Doug is very protective of her, which I kind of understand given she’s 63. The special thing is that she started showing us her boobs. I’m pretty sure she does it to Doug when I’m not around, too. I’ve told him multiple times how troubling it is, but he brushes it off and refuses to confront her.
We have grown children and she recently went into the pool with all of them naked. It’s starting to worry me. I don’t want to be the one to confront her because it’s going to be ugly. – FLASHED IN FLORIDA
LOVE FLASH: Has Doug’s mom always been a “free spirit” who finds flashing and skinny dipping amusing, or is her exhibitionist behavior something new? If she’s always been like this, someone should point out that what she’s doing is inappropriate, unless it’s clear that nobody cares. In that case, you object, and I wouldn’t be surprised if your adult children weren’t blown away by the woman’s accomplishment either. If her exhibitionism is new, she should first be evaluated by a geriatric specialist and, if necessary, referred to a geriatric psychiatrist.
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