Dear Annie, Husband struggles to recuperate after studying of his spouse’s infidelity

DEAR ANNIE: Please help me. I have been married to my wife for 23 years. We had the best marriage imaginable.

She got sick in 2020 so I took her to the hospital. Due to COVID-19 I was not allowed to stay with her. So I dropped her off and she wanted to text me when she was done. When I got to the hospital to pick her up, I noticed that she was talking to another man. It was very strange to see her talking to him.

When we first got together, we talked about each other’s lives for days. She asked me about my ex-wife and why we divorced. I told her the truth about everything in my life. I asked her why she wasn’t in a relationship before me. She told me she just wasn’t interested in boys.

Back to the man she was talking to, it turned out he was an ex-boyfriend of hers. Of course I was very upset and wanted to know everything about him. She then admitted she had sex with him after telling me I was the only guy she’s ever been with.

This event happened more than two years ago and every day I can’t stop crying and thinking that they are together. I went from 170 pounds to 120 pounds. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. I just sit and cry. I need help. I surrendered this to God, but I still suffer so much. Can you give me any ideas on how to proceed further? I’m starting to fear for my life. I don’t want to end my life, but I can’t keep feeling this way.

I’m dying slowly, day by day. — Hurt

LOVE BREACH: Please seek professional help immediately. The suffering and pain you are feeling is temporary and will pass, but you need a professional therapist to help you process your pain. Your wife made a mistake by lying but there is no proof that she doesn’t love you. I only see that she is human and imperfect. I would also call the 988 Suicide Prevention Line. Much luck.


DEAR READERS: I wanted to wish you and your loved ones a Happy Halloween. Below are some tips to keep you and your loved ones safe.

  • Always accompany young children on their neighborhood tours.
  • Only go to homes with porch lights on and ideally a well-lit path.
  • Never enter a home or car for a treat.
  • Please keep all cats indoors on Halloween.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book. Visit for more information.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at


Comments are closed.