Do you or your partner commit “monetary infidelity”?

One of the things that most couples argue about is money. But how can you start a life together, buy a house and pay for your children when you are both in the dark about each other’s finances? According to a study by Mass Mutual, a financial services company, one in four married Americans admits to keeping a financial secret from their spouse. The study found that the younger people were, the more they kept a secret. It seems like talking about money is more embarrassing than sex.

What is financial infidelity?

Financial infidelity occurs when one or both partners are not honest about how much money they are spending, saving, or making.

The main financial secrets that married Americans withhold from their spouses are: 1.) having a separate credit card (38%), 2.) giving money to a loved one (32%), and 3.) hiding a major expense ( 24%). ). And more than half (55%) waited until they were married to discuss the money. Like when you talk about sex, the more you talk about it, the better it gets.

They’ll give me the money convo

Amanda Wallace, Head of Insurance at Mass Mutual, said, “Newlyweds know firsthand what it takes to plan a wedding and are ready to put the same amount of energy into their finances before and after the big day. But they often don’t. The concepts are similar: research, bring in expertise, weigh compromises, make thoughtful decisions, and be prepared for the unexpected on the trip. “But of course, most women don’t want to reveal how much they spent on the killer dress they” put on sale “and most men won’t admit how much was the bike they” had to have ” .

Financial advisor like Wallace says her great advice to newlyweds is “to control their financial health as a couple and individually. There can be a lot of debate about what belongs to me, you, and us in marriages, suggesting that it is a great place for new couples to start the discussion about common and individual assets, debts, accounts, and safeguards for the benefit of today and tomorrow to begin the benefits of the household. ”

“Talking about money with your spouse is not always easy,” said Ted Rossman, industry analyst at CreditCards.com. “You can still maintain some privacy about your finances and even keep separate accounts, but have to be on the same page with your general direction. “His company also conducted a financial study that found that 44% of people in ‘live-in relationships’ felt they were better ‘money managers’ than their spouses, and 12% thought they were worse.

Write down all of your debt and spending habits, your savings and investment goals, the stocks you want to buy, and the American dream: buying your home. If you work on a bigger budget together and keep things from getting hidden and waste your money on depreciable items, you won’t make the wrong financial decisions. It is also a good time to meet with a financial planner who will help you make more money with the money you have. Instead of arguing about finances, kiss and put on makeup because you are less stressed about money. Saving and investing money together is very “adulatory” and can be fun as soon as you find that you are making some money with it.

So what are we talking about?

First, start the discussion by sharing your credit scores and debts with one another. (And agree beforehand, don’t make fun of each other.) You’re in it together. You must both increase your credit scores if you are to eventually buy a home together. “Important life decisions that you might want to make as a couple, like buying a home or getting credit, are affected by your credit rating, so if you need to take corrective action, be sure to know as soon as possible,” says Wallace. This is where the secrets come in. Who would want to admit that they have a low credit score? When it does, there are a number of things you can do. From opening new credit accounts to increasing your “available credit quota” to withdrawing cards, you already need to increase your score.

When it comes to keeping separate checking accounts, each of you may want to keep your own checking account and open a common checking account for agreed expenses. And you never want to get into a situation where you miss out on your split credit card payments which can instantly mess up your credit scores – another reason to pay cards on time.

Until debt part us

What most couples fail to realize is that the individual debts they incur after they get married are shared. Baron Bilart, a former bankruptcy attorney who advises individuals on Nolo.com, says, “Debts that you or your spouse incurred prior to marriage or after separation or divorce are generally not considered to be combined debts.” Incurred during the marriage However, debts, when it comes to household expenses, are considered a combined “community debt” and both spouses are equally responsible. ”

Be prepared for the unexpected and get professional expertise from a financial planner so you don’t have to worry so much. And as always, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

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