Fifteen years after his launch, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna feels extra like a missed alternative to debate infidelity

I have an unholy love for extramarital love stories. From The Bridges of Madison County to Arth and Silsila, there is something about the longing and secret intimacies of romance outside of marital constraints that I find very appealing. Karan Johars Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, released 15 years ago, was supposed to be a fresh, contemporary take on marriage, infertility, love through old age and two wounded people finding comfort in each other that they couldn’t find in their respective spouses. And yet, when I watch it in 2021, much older and more contentious than I was when it first came out, the idea that the film was a missed opportunity lingers on.

Let me be fair and say the 2006 film was quite a bold move. There was Amitabh Bachchan as an elderly widower with a lustful zest for life. There was Preity Zinta, a dedicated, successful career woman determined to make her marriage work. And there were the two least likable characters – the affair itself – played by Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukerji. Trapped in marriages they do not want, they drown in their own bitterness and turn to each other, ostensibly in a concerted effort to save their respective marriages. Ultimately, it becomes a kind of love, a love that comes to fruition after several tearful, dramatic twists and turns.

I was 21 when KANK was released. Not quite up to par with my teenage trend for SRK, but close. But all the slow motion and arms wide open shots didn’t convince me, ironically, that Dev and Maya, the characters he and Rani play, had to be together despite the odds.

It’s hard to get excited about a couple who seemingly turn to each other and say, ‘Let’s be miserable together forever.’

The banter between Amitabh Bachchan and Kirron Kher is warm and pleasant; the intimacy and friendship between Abhishek Bachchan and Mukherji until the end of their marriage and afterwards feels real; The scratchy tension that burns with nails on a board that underlines every conversation between Khan and Zinta hits the right nerves. But for Dev and Maya, most of what I felt was a little bit of anger.

Ironically, Dev and Maya don’t have much in common. It seems to be nothing more than a vessel for his constant nagging and anger over the lack of fulfillment in his life. It’s hard to get excited about a couple who seemingly turn to each other and say, ‘Let’s be miserable together forever.’ It would work if the film was satire, but Johar’s overly serious tone and exaggerated attempts to be haunted took a lot more to convince this couple.

Self-controlled and radiating a steely dignity, Zinta is calm, appreciative and ultimately generous. In stark contrast, Mukherji’s character spends the last 40 minutes of the film shedding tears almost continuously, as if to atone for being the other woman. Even her inability to have children seems to weigh on her even more, as if it were a punishment.

Even for 2006 it might just be enough that the “bad woman” was not a heavy drinker and smoker who ultimately pays for her lifestyle with her life. But then Dirty Picture came out a full five years later in 2011, and the heroine, though brave and sexually confident, eventually had to be featured on her deathbed. Watching KANK again was a reminder that the trope of love outside of marriage, at least for women, has not aged well or aged at all!

There is no doubt that extramarital love stories are full of pain and tough choices, but honestly, I am tired of “other women” bearing the cost of their deeds. From the endless tears and walks in the freezing rain and a sudden switch to I-deserve-nothing-good clothes that symbolize how awful they feel.

Again, any real intimacy between the main characters would have been welcome, but when I saw the scene I thought that John Abraham had more chemistry with his microphone in his 5 minute cameo as a DJ.

I like a good hot extramarital love scene, and while Netflix rated KANK 18+ for ‘SEX’, we don’t seem to have come much further than watching two flowers poke petals. Again, any real intimacy between the main characters would have been welcome, but when I saw the scene I thought that John Abraham had more chemistry with his microphone in his 5 minute cameo as a DJ.

There’s a lot of love in the movie, but very little of it shows up between the lovers themselves. The whole tone of the movie seems to be Johar apologizing for making it in the first place and making sure his audience knows realizing that infidelity is wrong and has consequences. Therefore, the film feels more like a missed opportunity than being grabbed at the first offer.

Extramarital lust / love is never easy, that’s part of what makes it an interesting story. There is breach of trust, betrayal of long-term ties, and eons of social stigma. From Wong Kar Wai’s beautifully blatant In the Mood for Love to the darker realms of Unfaithful, movies have shown that there is a fine line to walk between celebrating the moral complexities of extramarital affairs and compassion with pure feelings.

Bollywood is still getting used to showing extramarital and premarital love on screen, so I imagine the day we get an extramarital love story worth its weight is a good way to go. Extramarital love in Bollywood is rarely considered worthy of what is known as A grade cinema. We get the obviously cheesy murder or direct Bhabhi Devar pornography. Love outside of marriage is necessarily conducted in the dark, in the shadows. While that may be part of its charm, it isn’t reflected too well in the stories we tell.

For a love that broke so many barriers and hearts, Dev and Maya’s feelings never seem to produce a change in their hearts or characters.

There is hope, however. I enjoyed the blossoming of feelings between Shefali Shah and Manav Kaul in this year’s Ajeeb Dastaans (produced by Johar by chance). Family Man also has a subtle, shimmering arc of growth and attraction in the relationship between Suchitra and their new boss.

KANK really disappoints me there. For a love that broke so many barriers and hearts, Dev and Maya’s feelings never seem to produce a change in their hearts or characters. It could have been a story of two deeply embittered people who come together in a troubled but unbreakable relationship. A crooked, bitter ending. It could have been two people who were in pain, who felt tenderness in one another.

I would love it if KANK got a makeover. I want Amitabh Bachchan’s character to be female so that Dev and Maya can have conversations without complaining about their spouses. I would definitely like more forbidden, lustful looks and touches – where is the fun in a chaste extramarital affair! And I wouldn’t want Johar to write or direct because he has a fetish for drowning a good plot in too many tears. But on the other hand, there is no overlap in art and cinema.