After hearing you talk about financial infidelity, I have to admit that I hide money from my husband. I put money aside for emergencies without his knowledge. He’s not bad with money, but he always seems to find something to spend it on. Before I started doing this, we never saved a lot of money. But now I feel like I did something wrong. What should I do?
I believe in saving for emergencies. I mean, I’m the guy who tells people to save their expenses in an emergency fund for three to six months, right? But cheating is never a good thing in a relationship—especially in a marriage. You need to talk to your husband about this.
I know it won’t be easy for you, so you need to make sure you tell him the right way. The blame game won’t help. Basically, you deceived him about this. Sure, it sounds like he’s been immature when it comes to your household finances, but you made the choice to hide things. You chose to do this instead of speaking to him about your concerns.
Let’s start here. Tell your husband you need to talk to him about something important and sit down privately. Explain to him what is going on and that you are sorry that you are not being honest, but you also need to say it and tell him why you did it secretly. If you were worried about disagreeing with him, tell him so. Also, tell him why and let him know that you only want the two of you to have a successful financial future and that you are determined never again to hide something.
Managing money in a marriage is not his or her business. It’s a “we” thing. You can fix this, but it takes some honesty, understanding, and effort to work together towards the same goals – such as: B. to save or to live on a written, monthly budget.
You both have one vote, but that also means you have to stand up and vote no, Lana, if he wants to blow money on stupid stuff when your finances aren’t in order.
Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has written seven bestsellers. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 11 million listeners each week on more than 550 radio stations and digital channels. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and online at daveramsey.com.