TORONTO, 29th September 2020 / PRNewswire / – It’s no surprise that COVID-19 has weighed on married couples, especially those with families all living under one roof. Reports of increased divorce petitions due to government bans began in the year March 2020. Shortly after the lockdowns began Ashley Madison, the world’s leading website for married dating1, saw a surge in registrations, indicating increased interest in extramarital affairs. The vast majority of Ashley Madison Respondent members have said they remain married through matters. To understand the reasons for choosing infidelity over divorce during a pandemic and the implications for marriage in the future, the company publishes a detailed report called Love Beyond Lockdown. The findings outlined in the report point to a controversial, albeit necessary, truth: marriage is ultimately a pragmatic arrangement that has inherent value, although a prime partner often does not consistently provide the necessary love, support, and desire.
“Historically, we know that our members are not interested in ending their marriage, and we’ve found that this can still be said now when tensions are higher than normal and divorces appear numerous,” he says Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer for Ashley Madison. “We did this research to learn more about what an affair – whether virtual or in person – means to people with a pandemic during a pandemic, and to show that marriages can indeed survive in such an environment.”
While exploring a range of other topics such as sex, domestic pressures, lockout habits and attitudes, and safety precautions, the study reveals five key takeaways on navigating marriage and infidelity during a global pandemic.
Finding # 1: Lack of sexual initiation is the main complaint of married people during lockdown, so many do not have sex and are less attracted to their spouse
58% of members say their spouse did not initiate any sexual intimacy at all during the lockdown if asked to share their largest pet sleeves while stuck at home with their spouse. Unsurprisingly, 75% of scammers have less sex than usual or no sex at all with their spouse and 41% are less attracted to them.
For 53% of members, the lockdown was the most time they ever spent with their primary partner, and 64% had problems during the pandemic when their sexual needs were not met at home. Additionally, 76% have essentially given up trying to revive their sex life with their spouse, and 74% are unlikely to have any physical problems after the pandemic ends.
Result No. 2: In times of uncertainty and stress, people do not look to their partner, but rather outside of their partner.
During lockdown, married people report boredom (49%), isolation and loneliness (30%), frustration and anger (29%), worry and anxiety (24%), and fear and overwhelm (24%). Even so, 95% of members were still interested in finding and maintaining external relationships when the lockdown started, and scammers have learned that having an affair during a pandemic is a great joy (34%). Distraction (23%) and means they have someone in a similar situation to talk to (14%).
Finding # 3: The pandemic has not diminished the desire or ability to cheat. in fact, it fueled it.
Thanks to modern technology, the lockdown didn’t put an end to matters. Although most of the scams have been virtual, many married dates still meet their affair partner in person. However, they have introduced new precautionary measures. From now on, until there is a cure or vaccine for the novel coronavirus, 65% of scammers are likely to be more selective with whom they go on personal dates, and 56% are likely to get creative with socially aloof date ideas. During this data, 41% of scammers regularly use hand sanitizer, 36% avoid crowds, and 11% only stick to data outdoors. Where there is a will, there’s a way!
Finding # 4: Because most of the time is spent at home, married people who are having affairs consider their infidelity to be an integral form of self-care and a way for them to stay married.
Despite the surge in divorce petitions as a result of the lockdown, the last thing members think about is ending their marriage. In fact, 92% of members disagree or don’t even think about the statement, “I will file for divorce after social distancing,” and their infidelity is to be thanked for.
Cheating during the lockdown makes 47% of members feel sexual, 45% excited, and 44% wanted – but the benefits go deeper than just being sexy. 32 percent of the members feel valued, 30 percent feel relaxed, 28 percent feel confident and 19 percent feel recognized. While many Ashley Madison Members cheat primarily for sex, reaping the added personal therapeutic benefits that are especially helpful in this unique lockdown situation and can make them more patient and tolerant of their home situation.
Finding # 5: Decreased socialization calls into question the role of the main partner as sole confidante, friend, lover and source of peace.
The pandemic has changed the way we interact with others and made us diligent about who we socialize with. The practice of selective socialization, or blowing, can help married people realize that they cannot rely on their spouse for everything and think about who can meet which of their needs. There is not a single person who can provide fulfillment in every aspect of life – not even a spouse. Sometimes spouses, confidants, friends, and lovers are not synonyms. In most cases marriage is mostly about co-parenting and financial stability. Thus, the pandemic could pave the way for new talks on a more fluid monogamy.
More and more married individuals are realizing what most married dates have already learned – their “one and only” is not always the only one or the only one when it comes to their needs, and the structure of the marriage may evolve emotionally and physically in the future .
For more information, membership stats, and expert opinions, see the full Love Beyond Lockdown report HERE.
These data were extrapolated from six member surveys:
Survey 1: “Matters in Isolation”, comprised of 1,470 Ashley Madison Members respondents from 17.-20. March 2020
Poll 2: “Pet Peeves” comprised of 2,047 Ashley Madison Members respondents from April 7th to 9th, 2020
Survey 3: “Habits”, comprised of 2,085 Ashley Madison Members respondents from April 22nd to 24th, 2020
Survey 4: “Post Isolation”, consisting of 1,861 Ashley Madison Interviewed Members From May 28 – June 5, 2020
Survey 5: “Specifics of Fraud During Lockdown”, comprised of 2,258 Ashley Madison Members respondents from July 24th to 28th, 2020
Survey 6: “Self-Care” includes 2,249 Ashley Madison Members respondents from August 10th to 12th, 2020
AshleyMadison.com is the world’s leading spouse provider with more than 65 million member accounts worldwide since 2002.
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1 Based on number of registrations with Ashley Madison since 2002 |
SOURCE Ruby Life Inc.
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