There’s a way through (Picture: Getty)
A professional “infidelity coach” helps people deal with being cheated on – he works with women who choose to stay with their partner.
Annabelle Taylor, 33, “coaches” people whose partners have been unfaithful — enabling them to stay with their significant other if they “choose to.”
She offers tailored advice and online sessions based on the support her clients need, and runs a free online community forum where women can share their experiences.
Annabelle launched her business after her husband of two years admitted he was having an affair in 2019.
This came after a series of other betrayals – but she’s still with him.
Annabelle decided to stay and began coaching others once she felt “more comfortable healing” herself.
When her clients choose to stay in their partnership, Annabelle lays out the steps they need to take to ensure they heal appropriately.
This can include listening to their body, taking the space when needed, being open about the infidelity with their partner on a daily basis, and giving them space to explore why they may have been cheated on.
Annabelle, from Portland, Oregon, USA, said: “When I was cheated on with my husband three years ago, it changed my whole life.
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“I just want to speak more and more about my experience now that I’m more comfortable with my healing and my life.
“I wanted to be able to reach out and help people and felt like I had no way to do that, so I started TikTok in April.
“Then I wanted to help people even more individually, so I did a coaching certification in August and now I serve clients from all over the world.
“There’s a lot of shame associated with people staying with their partner after they’ve been cheated on.”
She shares advice through social media channels, with some of her videos reaching over 40,000 people.
The decision to stay with her own partner was not easy and took several months of thought.
Annabelle was recovering from her own experience of being cheated on (Image: Annabelle Taylor / SWNS)
When Annabelle found out about her husband’s infidelity, both parents were battling cancer and undergoing chemotherapy.
The couple “were in limbo for seven months,” but when Annabelle’s mother died in November 2019, she decided to stay with her husband after “he was there to stop me and get me through that time in any way he could.” . .
She stands by her decision to stay with her partner and encourages other women to do the same if they feel this is the right choice for them.
Annabelle said: “The reasons people stay are very complicated. This could be for financial reasons, or they may just not be ready to go yet.
“For me personally, it was because we both had done a lot of work individually and the work was worth it, that we came together in the healthy way that we’ve always wanted.
“For many women there is a great deal of confusion about figuring out what is really best for them and separating that from what society is forcing you to think is best for them.
“I help women understand that even when they face shame, only you know how to live your life, so no matter what you’re doing, knowing that it will help.
“I’m not a psychiatrist and I encourage anyone going through this to seek one, but I empower people to make their own decisions.”
She hosts hourly sessions — which cost $40 — and include guided meditations, general talks, sharing their own story, or simply helping people understand that they will “survive” their experience.
She said: “It’s absolutely a conscious decision to create an open book culture in your post-infidelity relationship.
“You have to have a culture where it’s not a taboo subject, you have to talk about it every day, work through triggers together and be a team to understand why it happened.
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“You have to give space to pain and betrayal. Make space for the betrayed to feel pain and for the betrayers to delve deep into themselves and why they did what they did.
“A lot of women talk about how they just can’t stop thinking about the event, and that’s completely normal.
“Your brain, body and spirit are constantly working to serve and help you. It shows you that you’ve been through a lot, it’s no small thing, it’s a big hurt that you’re healing from.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone to stay or go. It’s my job to help someone feel empowered in their choices, but understand the risks or realities of certain behaviors and choices.”
Advice that Annabelle regularly shares with her clients
- Listen to the physical cues your body is telling you about your feelings
- Take away physical space from your partner when you need it
- Understand what’s best for you instead of feeling pressured by societal expectations
- Create an “open culture” in your relationship where you talk openly about the infidelity
- Release triggers together as a pair
- Set your own limits
- Give the betrayed person space to feel pain
- Give the person who cheated space to take a “deep look” inside themselves to see why they were unfaithful
- See a psychologist
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