I was shocked when I first saw the classic 90s film “You Have Mail” with one of my friends.
For years, I’ve heard my girlfriends rave about the film’s picturesque storyline, dreamy bookstores, and cute main characters who eventually fall in love. After seeing the film, however, I discovered that a film marketed to me as a romantic drama was actually a twisted tale of broken relationships and unbridled desires.
“You’ve Got Mail” glorifies emotional cheating. From the beginning of the film, the characters Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox sneak behind computer screens to have more online chat time with each other. As much as I adore a good bookstore rivalry, the characters’ relationship with one another is literally based on lies.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many media outlets are proposing films that not only document infidelity, but also celebrate it. At the top of almost everyone’s list is The Notebook, a film that, while famous, focuses on a relationship that characters keep coming back to, despite their commitments to others.
Other fan favorites that excuse infidelity in the name of “true love” include “Me Before You”, “Titanic”, “Love Actually”, “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Letters to Juliet” and more. Even one of my once favorite romantic comedies, While You Were Sleeping, depicts the beginning of a relationship based on untruths.
There’s also a long list of TV shows like “Sex and The City,” “Friends,” and “The Office” that have also been guilty of condoning unfaithful behavior so the characters can supposedly find the love and happiness who they think they deserve. But is love true when it’s built on lies?
The message at the end of these movies and shows always seems to be the same: It doesn’t matter how you fell in love. It doesn’t matter who you left to be with someone else. In such stories, the end always seems to justify the means.
But does it? There are many studies that suggest that infidelity isn’t all it’s blamed for. Cheating in any form, including emotional cheating, is one of the top reasons spouses file for divorce. It is bad for physical and mental health, can have long-term psychological effects, destroying homes, making children feel betrayed and traumatized, and affecting job performance.
Overall, cheating is bad for people and bad for society. It hurts souls, destroys relationships and leaves people feeling hurt.
A nation already struggling with a rampant hookup culture, declining marriages, declining birth rates, and no baby boom in sight needn’t encourage people to breach their relationship commitments. It must foster true love based on trust, loyalty, devotion and faithfulness. It takes people getting married, starting families and raising them with moral values and religion that automatically decrease their chances of cheating in a relationship.
Despite these negative effects, infidelity in relationships is consistently romanticized by Hollywood and others influential in cultural media such as film and television. Chances are, Hollywood won’t stop posting obnoxious content that promotes an immoral lifestyle. However, you can stop engaging and supporting this content by watching it.
If your spouse, boyfriend or friends propose a romantic movie night in honor of Valentine’s Day, stay away from the classic but problematic movies that can sway the way you think and act in relationships.
Jordan Boyd is a staff writer at The Federalist and co-producer of The Federalist Radio Hour. Her work has also been featured on The Daily Wire and Fox News. Jordan graduated from Baylor University, where she majored in Political Science and minored in Journalism. Follow her on Twitter @jordangdavidson.
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