Infidelity threatens a cheerful marriage

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been married for 10 years and we have three children. We were high school darlings and each other’s first loved ones and never dated other people until we were married. I would say we are happily married.

Maybe I’ve ignored all the signs because he’s seen someone for a year. He came to me and totally confessed and told me that he is in love with someone else. As you can imagine, I was a deer in the headlights to hear that. He said we fell into this marriage and he wants time now to discover life and other people. I was so stunned that I told him to go and hadn’t spoken to or seen him in three days. I’m trying to rally myself to figure out what’s next and where to go from here, but I just don’t know. Any advice for women who have been cheated on? — Broken heart

Dear heartbroken: You and your husband need to talk. Schedule a time when you can sit down and discuss the situation. Find out what he’s up to, including how he plans to look after the family. Suggest that the two of you see a marriage counselor. This can be helpful even if you are getting a divorce. You have to sort out finances, childcare, property – everything. And you are likely to need emotional support that your husband cannot give you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I visited my favorite restaurant last week and when I was in the bathroom I noticed a cockroach. I’ve never seen insects there before so I wasn’t alarmed. I went back this week and saw a cockroach again. This time I noticed it was going up the wall next to where we ate. When I notified the waiter he apologized and said it was because they left the door open and sometimes came in.

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