Infidelity threatens completely satisfied marriage – Instances-Normal

Dear Harriette, I have been married for 10 years and we have three children. We were high school darlings and each other’s first loved ones and never dated other people until we were married. I would say we are happily married. My husband often works late and takes a lot of business trips.

Maybe I’ve ignored all the signs because he’s seen someone for a year. He came to me and totally confessed and told me that he is in love with someone else. As you can imagine, I was a deer in the headlights to hear that. He said we fell into this marriage and he wants time now to discover life and other people. I was so stunned that I told him to go and hadn’t spoken to or seen him in three days. I’m trying to rally myself to figure out what’s next and where to go from here, but I just don’t know. Any advice for women who have been cheated on? I am lost. – Broken heart

Dear heart broken: you and your husband need to talk. Schedule a time when you can sit down and discuss the situation. Find out what he’s up to, including how he plans to look after the family. Suggest that the two of you see a marriage counselor. This can be helpful even if you are getting a divorce. You have to sort out finances, childcare, property – everything. And you are likely to need emotional support that your husband cannot give you.

Dear Harriette, I went to my favorite restaurant last week and when I was in the bathroom I noticed a cockroach. I’ve never seen insects there before so I wasn’t alarmed. I went back this week and saw a cockroach again. This time I noticed it was going up the wall next to where we ate. When I notified the waiter he apologized and said it was because they left the door open and sometimes came in. Anyone who knows anything can say that this answer was just full of it.

At that point, I became very concerned and asked to speak to a manager. He apologized and took us to another table in the restaurant. I’m not entirely sure what the protocol is if someone finds an insect in a restaurant, but I think more should have been done. I want to contact the Ministry of Health, but I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. Have you ever been in this situation? – Disgusted customer

Dear Disgusted Customer, instead of going to the Department of Health immediately, come back to the manager and express your sincere concern about the cleanliness of the restaurant. Point out that this is your favorite place to eat. You know how difficult it is to keep a restaurant open during a pandemic, but you also don’t want to eat in a roach infested place. Ask him when an exterminator will come in. Press it to take action to prevent further incidents.

Harriette Cole is a lifestyle artist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative that helps people access their dreams and activate them. Questions can be sent to or Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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