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Divorce is often viewed as one of the worst things that can happen in life. However, trying to find a solution for your kids can be even worse. In fact, nothing delays a divorce more than figuring out what to do with your kids.
It takes a lot of patience to find a solution that works best for your kids. You may not be ready to fight, or it’s just going to take that much longer to find something that works for everyone!
So what can you do? Here are some tips to help you stay calm during a custody battle.
Remember that everything should revolve around your children. Many parents lose sight of what is important when they fight over their children. Instead of thinking about what’s best for her, you might worry about losing her or just getting back at your ex!
However, if your child would be better off living with your ex most of the time, make sure they are. If your work schedule doesn’t allow you to take care of them every day, you have to be realistic. See them as often as you can, but don’t fight for them just because you’re worried about losing your children.
Then you need to find a way to communicate with your ex. The sooner this happens, the better off your family will be. You can practice this in mediation or in court (if you end up there).
Listen to your ex when he or she is talking. Really listen to what he or she is trying to say. Don’t focus on what you’re about to say (or you won’t hear a word come out of your ex’s mouth). Then, before you speak, record everything before you answer (or have your rebuttal). You should never interrupt your ex when he or she is talking because that is not good listening.
You want your ex to do the same, so show the compassion you want and hopefully you get it back. As you practice, this will help you as you learn to be parents together.
Don’t be afraid to walk away when it gets hot. You should never say anything you’d regret, so walking away in the heat of the moment is far better. You don’t want to say or do anything that you can’t undo simply because you’re reacting to the situation. It’s far better to walk away and have the conversation at a later time (when everyone is much quieter).
The simple truth is that custody battles are called fights because they can get ugly. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. The best way to avoid this is to think about your children. You want to do what is best for them, so you should think about what they want and need. This can help you find a solution that works best for everyone without getting nasty. This is also a good time to work on communication as you will need to talk about the children for the rest of their lives.