I was devastated. But then one day, about two months later, a concerned neighbor, asked me if I would like to meet a nice girl. I said I wasn’t quite finished yet. After a while, I called her. The hardest trip I’ve ever been on was meeting her. It turned out to be the best trip I’ve ever been on. We got married about 10 months later. Losing my first wife made me appreciate my second wife all the more.
Fifty-one years later, my second wife had a minor stroke that led to the onset of dementia. Of course it went on. Four years later she took her life. We had 55 years of bliss together.
I’ve been alone for three and a half years now, with the support and love of my children. Five months ago a very dear friend lost her 63 year old husband and I am interested to see if something could be between us. I am not happy to live alone. I have a feeling that I could be of great support to them. She now also lives alone and I want to help her.
I need to give this special woman more time to grieve over her loss. Right now she wants to carry on as she is, we’re just friends. My daughter told me not to squeeze her too hard. And i agree. But she’s the only woman that interests me. What do you advise me? – CW
Dear CW: I am sorry for your losses. I think it’s wonderful that you enjoy the camaraderie so much. As the song says, “People who need people are the happiest people in the world.” But your daughter is right that you should give your girlfriend space to grieve. In the meantime, I encourage you to learn how to enjoy the pleasure of your own company. Try a new hobby, sign up for an online class, and take some time to really fuel your self-esteem. Then you are even more present when you enter into a different relationship.
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