DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 36 years. Ask anyone who knows us and they will say we are the perfect couple – no big issues, loving, trusting etc. I was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia three years ago and my wife was a godsend . I couldn’t ask for a better partner.
I heard her on the phone the other day and something she said caught my attention. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she cheated. She said it happened two or three times, two or three years ago with her first boyfriend from college. He had contacted her to meet for coffee and he kissed her. The next time he came to our town, they met in his hotel room and had sex. Abby, I’m devastated, but there’s nothing I can do. I’m 50 percent dependent on her and it’s going to increase. She said I can ask her anything and she will answer me honestly. I haven’t yet because I’m still in shock. Please help me figure out what to do.
— FEW OPTIONS IN NEVADA
LOVE FEW OPTIONS: I can only imagine how hurt you must be and for that you have my sympathy. Since you need your wife to take care of you during your illness, the most obvious thing I can suggest is that you don’t ask her such questions. Your infidelity may have happened because she was devastated by the medical diagnosis you just received. The healthiest thing for both of you would be to respect her honesty and forgive her weak moments.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.