DEIDRE LOVE: My friend had sex with someone half her age and then blamed a little drug relapse for her infidelity.
She said I deserved it for failing her.
She admitted having sex with the son of one of her friends
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It was a slap in the face because I’ve been clean for five years. I admit I made a mistake after taking strong tranquilizers, but that was an isolated incident.
I’m a 47 year old man and she is 45. We’ve been together for seven years, but when we met I had a big alcohol and drug problem.
She saved my life. I met her through a friend when I was evicted from my apartment and surfing on the sofa with various buddies.
We have established a great connection. We saw each other every day for a couple of months.
She was amazing, but the drugs and alcohol were a crutch for me.
She told me that she loved me and that she wanted to take care of me. She paid for my rehab and when I got out I got my own apartment and was a changed man.
But after recently losing my mother, I hit the ground running. My brother knew I was down and offered me a couple of strong sleeping pills – temazepam.
I didn’t hide what I was doing and show them off to my friend.
It was so good to have a good sleep that night. But she was convinced that my addiction was back.
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She called the next morning and said, “There’s no easy way to tell you – I’ve cheated.” I was amazed.
She admitted to having sex with the son of one of her friends. He’s 23. She said she did it to pay me to take drugs.
I can’t believe she would do this to me, but she said our relationship seemed to run out of steam and if I didn’t ask her to move in with me we would be over.
I don’t know where to go from here.
DEIDRE SAYS: First of all, she has to listen to your very plausible explanation.
Explain that you felt down, but nothing will bring you back to the dark place you were before. You came too far for that.
She can’t blackmail you and force you to invite her to move in unless you want to.
Saying that she cheated because there was something missing in your relationship isn’t an excuse.
She broke trust and it will take a while to convince you that you have a future together – and to convince you that she must.
My bereavement and fraud support packages will help you find emotional support on both counts.