My spouse slandered me with allegations of infidelity, I didn’t kill our daughter – estranged husband
Pastor Raphael Ajijolaoluwa, Ms. Deborah’s estranged husband, speaks to PETER DADA about the allegations made against him and her request to investigate him into the death of her youngest child
Her Your wife requested a police investigation into the death of your youngest child and accused you of failing to inform her of the child’s death. What’s your reaction to that?
You see, any woman who has left her husband can say anything against a man like that. But I don’t mind, I handed them over to God to judge. She brought the girl (youngest child) to Onitsha (Anambra State) when she was nine months old. The girl suffered from convulsions and some other ailments that had affected her growth. We took her to the hospital and spent a lot of money on her until we ran out of money. That’s when the problem with my wife started. At the time, she was working with a marketing company that she controlled. She would drop the sick young girl, who could neither walk nor speak and had health problems, to follow the marketing company. She let the children and me down for over two years. She wants to slander my name and forget about the future of her children. You can come to our community (Omifon in the Odigbo Local Government Area of Ondo State) and ask about the cause of the child’s death. Everyone knew she had health problems – she had retarded growth, she could not walk and speak at that age. I didn’t kill my daughter as she claimed. But as I said, I put everything in the hands of God.
She said she divorced you over alleged extramarital affairs. Is that true?
We had a problem. She is very persistent. I told her I didn’t like the job in marketing. The company moved her from state to state for training and workshops despite being a married woman with children, and I told her I didn’t like the job. But that’s the work she’s doing to this day.
Is it also true that you beat her every time she confronted you with the alleged infidelity?
As a husband, can you take it? A married woman, the wife of a pastor, left the house and children with another man in a hotel for three days on the pretext of doing a company training, sometimes for three days, sometimes for six days. Which man would let that happen?
When you didn’t like the job, what efforts did you make to strengthen it?
I swear in the name of God I tried for her. I gave her 160,000 N to start her own business. Then I gave her another 25,000 N, 40,000 N and another 50,000 N, but nothing came out. And I gave her N500 every morning to take care of herself. Her children even testified against her at police headquarters.
She accused you of getting her sister pregnant. How would you react to that?
That’s how she slandered my name. She also said it in court and they asked her when I got her sister pregnant. She said (it happened) about two years ago. Then they asked her why she wasn’t leaving my house when it happened and she said she was thinking about her children and did not want to destroy my ministry. You see, if a woman wanted to leave her husband, she would come up with all kinds of excuses. She also said I used the girl for diabolical reasons. Is a girl with health problems who cannot walk or speak the kind of girl one would use in a ritual? I have the girl’s video on my phone. It’s all a lie. As I said, I handed them over to God. She is my wife, if everything she said about me is true, let God judge us. I have no judgment other than God’s judgment.
It was alleged that you did not inform her of the girl’s death. How true is that
She left me over two years ago and I didn’t have her phone number. The last time she came to me with gifts, I told her the court decided that she should always call me first if she wanted to see them. But she started abusing me in front of my meeting. So she couldn’t drop the items. If she was a responsible mother, why didn’t she ask about the children from December 2020 to August 2021? She didn’t call me or look for me. When the girl died, I told one of the elders in the church to let her mother know, and two of her uncles went to pay my mother a condolence call on the incident. So at that point I thought that she had come up with a means to come to an arrangement with me to take care of the two remaining children, but she didn’t. She didn’t even call me. Next she reported me to the police. I don’t want to involve the police or take legal action against them like they did to me. That’s why I told her to go and beg my mother. At least she’s my mother’s daughter-in-law. My mother can’t beg her for everything she’s done to me and my family.
How do you think the matter could be resolved?
She destroyed many things by dragging me into the media, slandering my name and forgetting about her children’s future. But I don’t fight with her and I won’t fight with her because I’m 18 years older than her. But I accepted everything in good faith.
She is my wife. There is forgiveness for a repentant sinner. So I told her to beg my mother because my family members were also dissatisfied with what she was doing. It has never happened in our family’s history that a woman arrests her husband at the police station or takes her to court. When she is ready to come back to me, I am ready to bring her back. She is my wife. She divorced me, but I didn’t divorce her and she didn’t think about the future of our children.
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