We’ve all been to bad weddings, like the ones where they essentially read the Bible from cover to cover, or where the best man at the reception makes the awkward toast that includes a groom’s past indiscretion – the guy who might could be funny if the mother of the bride weren’t around, which, let’s face it, she usually is.
But most of the time nobody is shot.
That was not the case in Louisiana, where, according to the Washington Post, “Devin Jose Jones was still wearing a tux when he and his bride spat on the bonnet in a traffic jam after their wedding Saturday night.” Carré Spillway outside of New Orleans. “
It can happen. Look, it’s been an emotional day and maybe things didn’t go according to plan. Maybe it doesn’t bode well for the future, but that’s why I’ve always been an advocate of evening weddings, because if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t been killing all day.
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But that’s different, the report says: “When the argument got heated, 30-year-old Jones allegedly accused his new wife of having an affair with a friend who drove the couple in the car and who was with them Ceremony that day. Police say Jones then grabbed a gun and started firing bullets at the male passenger.
The passenger was hit in the leg, a stray bullet hit the driver of another car.
Both are expected to be okay, so Jones is unlikely to be spending much time on them. If I have a problem with our criminal justice system, this is it. It rewards incompetence. As Todd Snyder sang, “Took just two years and twenty-eight days; I had been in it all my life with a slightly better goal. “
In a perfect world, you would spend more time on the double offenses of being vicious and bad marksman.
Let’s assume that alcohol was likely a contributing factor. At least you hope it was. You don’t want to believe that someone would do such a thing in their right state of mind.
And maybe, just maybe, this is a warning not to leave the reception with your bride and your drinking pals. For example, where would they go, a strip club?
Part of the problem is also that the party was stuck in traffic on the narrow causeway – I think Biden’s infrastructure plan didn’t come early enough to save this couple. Traffic can make anyone grumpy, even if you’ve just been married off to the light of your life.
According to the New Orleans Advocate, the bride ran through the parked cars to an ambulance that was there to help with the wreckage that caused the handcuff in the first place.
The paramedics had them hide in the ambulance, but Jones found them and knocked on the doors. The friend meanwhile hobbled to another car and asked the occupants to call 911.
“I don’t know if he was drunk or what, but he wasn’t fine and there was quite a bit of blood on the back of his pants,” said the driver, who called 911 but got a busy signal. “It was the first time that I had seen someone shot before.”
Just another night at the Big Easy. The interesting thing is that other drivers initially thought the shooting was related to the traffic and in this case it was okay, or at least understandable.
Bottom line, I know gun freaks want to take their guns everywhere, but maybe a wedding is where you draw the line. When the maid of honor throws the bouquet, you don’t want anyone to hear “Pull!” Shoot now or hold your piece forever.
Although a round of target practice at the reception would be more entertaining than the electric slide.
Tim Rowland is a columnist for Herald Mail.