Pricey Abby, girl burdened by the key of the infidelity of her brother-in-law

DEAR ABBY: My husband works out of town with his married brother. Although I’m not close to my sister-in-law, I like her quite well.

My problem is, my husband keeps telling me that his brother is unfaithful while traveling, and I actually overheard him on a phone call with my husband trying to show my husband nude pictures of other women. I cannot express how much this boils my blood. It’s not just from the perspective of someone who has previously been betrayed (not by my husband), but also that his brother’s boasting of photos shows that he does NOT respect any marriage or relationship.

I am determined to decide if I should share this information with my sister-in-law or if it crosses a line where it is not my business. Because I don’t talk to her often, I’m afraid I’ll just cause a drama that I shouldn’t have poked my nose into. But I believe she is a good wife and mother, and I feel terrible and burdensome to know that her husband is not loyal to her. Should I keep this to myself and rely on “karma” to someday reveal his transgressions, or should I give her the information I have? (There’s no hard evidence other than my husband’s word and what I’ve heard.) My husband says I should keep calm and says it would be uncomfortable if he were able to “out” his brother. – TRIED IN TENNESSEE

Try: Your brother-in-law is an unscrupulous, immature braggart. “Karma” does not protect your sister-in-law from syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and HIV, just to name a few of the sexually transmitted diseases to which her husband has exposed her. Tell her it is important to make an appointment with her doctor to have them all checked out. Isn’t that what you would want if the situation were reversed?

DEAR ABBY: I have two grown daughters. One of them is self-centered and refuses to give presents for my birthday or Christmas even though she is very happy to receive them.

If that’s your position then I guess that’s okay because I don’t need much, and it really is the thought that matters. I like to give gifts, but I feel taken advantage of.

This is compounded by the fact that I saved her from some difficult situations in the past. I know this is a different topic – and I have set limits on it – but this gift has frustrated me twice a year for the past 10 years and it’s time for a better plan. Help please. – Good father in Oregon

DEAR DAD: If the situation were all right, you would not have written me about it. I believe in communication. Talk to your daughter overdue. Showing thoughtfulness shouldn’t be a one-way street like your daughter did. The thought behind it is more important than a tangible object. If she doesn’t make the effort to call you or text you on these special occasions, I think your generosity has been taken advantage of.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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