Pricey Annie: Perception into Infidelity | advisory columns

Dear Annie: I just read your article about the husband who is in a relationship with someone in the office. The woman asked why women try to destroy such marriages. I want to offer some insights as I have had experiences on both sides of the issue.

First, when I dated a married man, I lost sight of the morals my parents had instilled in me.

I was young and naive and I believed what the man told me he wanted to leave his supposedly loveless marriage. It took me years to figure out that I was set for failure when mating with someone who was already connected. It was a way for me to be safe from real attachment, even though psychologically I didn’t know I was doing it.

Years later, when I was married, my husband cheated on me with a bevy of women, some of whom knew he was married.

When I heard all these women on the voicemail, my now ex-husband tried to say that they weren’t calls for him. He was a scammer, period. I knew from my own experience that I had to be the #1 priority because I deserved it.

And that’s how relationships should be.

I’m remarried and happy now. My heart goes out to the woman in the hope that she can stay strong and make decisions that prioritize her sanity and personal happiness.

— Finally happy the second time

love finally happy: Thank you for sharing your experience and congratulations on finding a partner who will bring you peace and happiness.

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