Step one with infidelity is a confession


LOVE MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is a response to Guilty Girl who got lost and is now plagued with guilt. She asked what she could do to fix things. (Miss L. said to spill it, but also mentioned a one-time scammer who offered her angry partner one night to get lost and make things up.)

As I am a little older, I think it is time to resolve this problem and move on. As the old saying goes, two mistakes will not make things right. If you give your partner the OK to get lost once, it will not be fixed and doubts will remain.

Second, once he finds out, he can very well be leaving anyway, so there’s no need to delay the confession.

Sooner or later, he’ll realize something is up or the word gets around on social media. Better to get things straight and hope for the best.

– Time to face this, Manitoba

Love time to face this, Guilty Girl’s conscience hurts so much she’s about to spill it, so she may as well do it now. If she does decide to offer him a “free night” it can be done in a number of ways.

He might say, “I don’t want to, but we have to go to the counseling to see if I want to stay with you.” Or he could say, “Sure, I’ll take the offer, but you’ll never know when it’ll happen.”

That would be some form of torture, wouldn’t it? What if he did and never confessed and she worried about it all her life?

I agree that she should tell her guy that she cheated on him once and that she is terribly sorry and will never do it again. Then let him tell her what he wants to do. Who knows, maybe he’ll have to tell her his own scam story! Life can be so strange.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My hot ex boyfriend from almost 10 years ago texted me when he was a little drunk and said he wanted to hang out again. I’m single at the moment and was pretty excited and invited him over (it was late). We made out on the couch – and one thing led to another. Fine. We’re both in our thirties, adults – albeit impulsive.

But now I’m here a month later and I missed my period. I didn’t buy a pregnancy test because I’m afraid it’ll come out positive.

The thing is, this old friend isn’t a bad guy or your regular drinker, but he’s not very responsible. It’s still hot – pretty hot – but that doesn’t help raising a child. He’s Catholic and I know he’s not a fan of abortion.

Done, pet, go!

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At this point in my life, I don’t know if I am either, as I have a well-paying career and could work from home. It may be my only chance to have a baby. What should I do?

– My blast from the past, North End

Dear Blast, run to the pharmacy first and get at least two high quality pregnancy kits. If the results are positive, then you need to think about the future. It sounds like you might be ready to become a mom and not want to end the pregnancy – and neither is the organic dad.

The two of you probably don’t want to get married, but maybe you could be good, kind, responsible friends and parents – maybe you live close together and raise this child together. Of course, you share the expenses and childcare.

It is certainly an alternative to think about. So if you are actually pregnant, give him a call. You can of course raise a child as a single mother, but give the organic father the chance to be part of the child’s life.

Please send your questions and comments to or Miss Lonelyhearts c / o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Council columnist

Each year the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and their answers to the life and relationship questions she faces.

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