What is infidelity? “The act or condition of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner,” says Oxford Languages. But is it just physical or sexual meanders that define infidelity? Is it just infidelity when you’re in a committed relationship? Is it cheating if you are single and in an untied relationship and still looking for other love affairs? Unfortunately, there is no one size fits all for this scenario. The answer to all of these questions is subjective to a person and how they define their relationship. Is there a right or wrong way to deal with infidelity? There is no right or wrong answer to that either.
Why does infidelity happen? “There are no specific factors that lead a person to cheat in a relationship,” says Dr. Samir Parikh, Director of Mental Health and Behavioral Science at Fortis Healthcare. New Delhi. “It can refer to both individual and relational aspects that can help a person make such a choice.”
The first step in dealing with infidelity begins with the unfaithful partner. Often times, people have a tendency to understand what is happening but are scared or unwilling to take the right action. While there is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone, there are the right ways to express that feeling and respond to it. Leaving your significant other in the dark, keeping secrets from them, not speaking openly about your fears, not giving a clear picture of what you are feeling and how you are feeling is unfair not only to yourself but also to your partner a great injustice.
If you have been unfaithful, first enter the infidelity and honestly share it with your partner – without thinking about the consequences. So the first step is to get in to your partner.
Similarly, ask your partner for the same consideration. If you believe they have been unfaithful, seek confirmation, then prepare to deal with the situation.
take your time
It is also important to take care of yourself and take the time to understand the reason why you or your partner were unfaithful in the first place. “It is necessary to concentrate on yourself and to get to a place where you can make a decision about the way forward,” says Dr. Parikh. “It is important to take your time and not be in a hurry to make a decision one way or another. Take care of yourself until you are at a point where you can make a decision-making process. “
If you want to continue
Everyone deals with a crisis differently. Different people react differently to infidelity. While some choose to accept it and move on, others cannot bear the betrayal and leave. In either case, it is important to tackle the problem and solve the problems. “You have to decide to work through the problems that exist both for the individual and are characteristic of the relationship that led to the situation,” advises Dr. Parikh. “It is important to get support, both from family and friends and, if necessary, from a professional. It is important not to put yourself in a room of self-reproach and criticism. “
Constant fighting over the subject is also not helpful. “It would be ideal to move to a point where you are ready to engage in interactions to determine the way forward,” says Dr. Parikh. If you have been betrayed: “Repeatedly seeking answers to questions is not an advantage; it is important to focus on yourself instead. “
Take control of your emotions
Image: Shutterstock Recognition – and not denial – is the key to getting out of this situation positively for the good of your partner and you. Sweeping your emotions under the rug will only make things worse and get you through greater trauma and mess up your emotional stability. Feelings of guilt and eroded self-confidence affect your mental health and make you feel helpless and worthless. “There will be an abundance of emotions and it is important to acknowledge them and not try to deny your experience of the situation,” said Kamna Chhibber, director of mental health and behavioral science, Fortis Healthcare, New Delhi.
“Allowing yourself to go through the experience would be helpful in the long run to cope with it. While a pragmatic approach may be required, it is also important to focus on emotional wellbeing. Continue to focus on making decisions and solving the problems that lie before you. Be gentle with yourself and continue to guide yourself through successive small steps to think things through and make the decisions you need to make. “
It is difficult to be betrayed or even to be unfaithful. The fact of infidelity turns your feelings and emotions, your bond over years of togetherness, intimacy, trust and many intangible elements of the relationship upside down. Dealing with infidelity and dealing with reality and its consequences can be traumatic. Approaching it right will ensure that you can still fix what’s broken or give yourself the strength to walk away if you want to.
- Take the time to reflect on what you are emotionally experiencing.
- Give yourself the space to reflect on the gaps in your relationship.
- Take the time to check to see if there have been any warning signs that you have ignored.
- Think about how you would like to design things yourself in the future.
- Think about how you would like to cultivate your relationship in the future.
Kamna Chhibber, Head of Mental Health and Behavioral Science Department, Fortis Healthcare, New Delhi.
Also read: Setting Emotional Boundaries: The Way to a Healthy Relationship