When sharing life and finances with your partner, honesty and open communication are essential to a successful partnership. Sharing your feelings and actions regarding money management with your partner can strengthen a relationship. However, financial infidelity is more common in relationships than you might think. Money can be an emotionally charged topic for many, and others choose to avoid discussing money altogether.
What is financial infidelity?
According to Investopedia, “Financial infidelity occurs when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money.” Hiding financial information from your partner, including hiding evidence of purchases, is a lie.
How Does Financial Infidelity Affect Your Marriage?
CNBC reported that three out of ten couples have experienced financial infidelity in the past year alone and that 43% of adults admit to financial infidelity. Financial infidelity leads to a loss of trust and communication, which can cause stress in the marriage and potentially lead to marriage failure.
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Signs of financial infidelity
There are warning signs that can alert you to a potential problem. Some of these signs are:
· Lack of communication on money issues
· Your partner will not share any banking information such as credit card statements, bank statements, credit statements
· Frequent purchases by your partner that don’t add up
· Hidden purchases
How to avoid financial infidelity in your relationship:
1. Get involved in your money management
You cannot control financial management, and letting a partner do the job opens the door to financial infidelity. Giving your spouse complete control and responsibility for the financial management of the household can anger them, and that resentment can creep into overspending without you knowing it. When you both stay involved and manage day-to-day finances together, it feels like a cohesive team that lacks the ability to overspend.
2. Participate in important decisions
Big financial decisions need to be discussed and agreed upon together. Conflicts often arise when one person in the relationship wants to make a large purchase that the other does not agree with.
3. Communication is key
Having tough money talks is part of a relationship. When you consider that financial issues are listed as the second biggest reason for divorce on wedding.com and cause 41% of divorces, you’ll want to have those money talks to keep the lines open and your marriage on track.
4. Set financial goals together
It is important to have conversations about money before entering into a relationship of building and sharing your life. Being on the same financial page before solidifying a relationship is key to longevity. When goals are discussed and understood, you are more likely to work together to achieve those mutually desired goals.
5. Set up payment dates
Meeting regularly with your partner, whether weekly or monthly, to discuss money matters and keep up to date on your progress toward goals can be beneficial to the relationship and keep you informed about the financial health of your affairs keep up to date.
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Away from financial infidelity
Some relationships can move on from financial infidelity. Open communication, talking about money and your feelings about money, and planning your future together are crucial ways to move forward. It may take time to trust again, but it can be worked through.
The bottom line is that all relationships have challenges and require work. Good communication is key to a healthy relationship, and honest conversations about money and finance increase the chances of staying together. Financial infidelity doesn’t have to be a relationship killer, and some couples have recovered from financial infidelity and moved on. If your relationship is affected by financial infidelity, get help.
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