A woman who discovers that her father was having an affair before her mother’s death is shocked by a request he has made.
She tells Reddit in the “Am I The Asshole” thread. She’s now 26, and after her mother died “a few years ago,” her family found out her father had cheated with “a girl my age.”
The woman says that after the discovery, “his whole family disowned him and cut off contact with him, except me,” admitting it may have been because she wasn’t willing to let go of both parents at the same time
“But over the last 5 years I’ve been able to gradually let go, to the point where I only see him (her) 2 or 3 times a month like I don’t have a family anymore.”
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“Don’t get me wrong, I also blame the girl for what happened, but the responsibility to my mother and I was my father’s, not her,” she continued.
The woman’s father and his new partner eventually married and had a daughter, the woman’s half-sister, who is now four years old.
She says she is aware of her father’s financial struggles while receiving an inheritance from her mother’s family after her mother’s death.
On a recent visit to her father’s, he told her he wanted to make her her half-sister’s legal guardian “if anything happened to them”.
”My father’s wife’s parents can take care of her, but only to a certain extent, and I will have the money to take care of an innocent child,” she shared.
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“I said no, not because of the money but because I just don’t want to, I’m not around my sister and currently don’t see or want me to be looking after a child, let alone one reminiscent of my mum’s last heartache .”
The daughter said she would contribute financially to the little girl’s care, but “that was the only thing” she was willing to do.
“My father cried and said that she was his baby and that I was capable of being a good sister as I was raised, but I just laughed and said that he wasn’t someone to talk about good and evil, and he and his wife should do it. I thought of that before I cheated,” she said.
At this point, his wife called her a “monster” and threw her out of the house.
“Later that night I texted my father to inform him of my decision to cut ties with him completely and that we will not have any contact from now on unless it is an emergency ‘ she explained. “He’s asking me to reconsider, but I don’t know if I’m right or wrong.”
The woman turned to Redditors for advice on the complicated situation, and many supported her instinct to cut ties with them.
“They’re just getting started,” commented one. “The first step was to get you to be their guardian in case anything happened to them. Once they realize that you care about your half-sister and want to help her, they will ask you to buy her extra clothes for her birthday or take her school shopping. Then they’ll ask for help because the rent is tight and they need to make sure your half-sister isn’t homeless.”
“I agree with everything you said,” said another. “Especially asking for money/inheritance. It won’t be long before they need an apartment and want to move into OP’s house.”
Another suggested: “They should have life insurance to cover their needs should they die. They should each have a policy.”
“I hope that someday someone will be able to step up and give her a loving home when her parents die. However, expecting you to do so is a gross transgression on your part,” added another.
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