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Infidelity involves a breach of trust and can damage the bonds romantic partners have made to one another. Sharpe, Walter, and Goren (2013) share that “infidelity is a serious relationship problem because it not only reflects instability within the primary relationship, but can also have intense negative consequences for both individuals in the dyad” (p. 644). One problem with discussing infidelity and internet infidelity is that there are so many differences in the meaning of infidelity. In addition, there are differences in how couples view, deal with (if they so choose) and recover from infidelity.
First, the definition of infidelity is vague and can differ from couple to couple and even between partners within a couple. The Perceptions of Dating Infidelity Scale (PDIS; Wilson, Mattingly, Clark, Weidler, & Bequette, 2011) is a measure that assesses subjects’ attitudes toward various behaviors that may constitute cheating. Examples of behaviors include dancing with someone other than your partner and dating someone other than your partner. It’s important to note that one person’s perception of cheating can differ (sometimes dramatically) from another.
Definition of online infidelity
Defining infidelity online can be even more difficult. Researchers Hertlein and Piercy (2012) had difficulty finding consensus from a Delphi study examining how “experts” work with clients who have experienced online infidelity.
In discussing online infidelity, Cooper and Griffin-Shelly (2002) state that they “use sexuality for purposes of recreation, entertainment, exploration, support, education, commerce, efforts to find or acquire sexual or romantic partners.” , and so on” ( p. 3). Whitty (2003) established three categories of infidelity based on a study in which participants rated 15 behaviors: sexual infidelity, emotional infidelity, and pornography use.
In a study conducted by Henline, Lamke, and Howard (2007), researchers found four activities that constitute infidelity with a partner: online sex, emotional engagement with someone online, online dating, and other online sexual interactions. Out of the four participants, the majority of participants found that online emotional behavior was more harmful than sexual behavior.
Conclusion
Online infidelity can damage a relationship and damage a person’s trust in their partner. What constitutes these acts, however, is not so clear cut. Therefore, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner if you have concerns about their behavior online. Perhaps what one partner considers permissible is taboo for the other. Without clear communication, this can lead to the demise of the relationship.
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