Miranda Lambert – “Maintenance”
Label: Republic Records
Release date: July 24, 2024
Album: Postcards from Texas
Songwriters: Natalie Hemby, Miranda Lambert and Shane McAnally
Live Debut: July 20, 2024 at The Venue at Thunder Valley in Lincoln, California
After releasing a handful of high-profile singles like the vengeful “Wranglers,” the slow-paced “Dammit Randy,” and her tempestuous contribution to Twisters: The Album, “Ain't in Kansas Anymore,” Miranda Lambert took to social media in mid-July to share a series of snippets of a playful new song about divorce: “Alimony.” The track will kick off Miranda Lambert's new album, Postcards From Texas, and “Alimony” drops on July 24 alongside the album announcement.
Fans were quick to point out that the timing of the first teasers seemed a bit over the top after videos surfaced a few weeks earlier showing Miranda Lambert's husband Brendan McLoughlin dancing with another woman at Miranda's Nashville bar, Casa Rosa.
The fact that “Alimony” finds Miranda Lambert warning her partner not to step out of line, with lyrics like “If you're a fool, darling, I hope / You remember the alimony,” has led many to believe that the song was written about Brendan. However, given the tongue-in-cheek tone of “Alimony” and Miranda's story of how Shane McAnally came up with the song's name, there seem to be no hard feelings and any connection to these videos is purely coincidental.
It is not the first song about divorce that Miranda has released. The “Bluebird” singer wrote “Got My Name Changed Back” together with her Pistol Annies colleagues Angaleena Presley and Ashley Monroe for the band's 2018 album “Interstate Gospel”.
“Alimony” is a fun and tongue-in-cheek anthem that recalls the lightness and tongue-in-cheek ambience of hits like “Tequila Does” and “Somethin' Bad,” with Miranda Lambert’s commanding vocals merging with the jubilant twang of the accompanying electric guitars.
The way Miranda Lambert draws out the final syllables of the song's title lyrics gives the chorus a particularly powerful note, and the entire track is infused with a classic Texas honky-tonk sound that makes it a wild addition to Miranda's setlist.
“Yes, this 1957 Cadillac
This mini-villa in a cul-de-sac
This 15-gallon Stetson hat
You wear this all the time”
To lay the groundwork for her punchline, Miranda Lambert begins by rattling off a list of luxuries her partner currently enjoys and can say goodbye to if he ever decides to cheat on her. She names his old 1957 Cadillac, their “mini-mansion” in an upscale part of town, and his beloved, heavy Stetson cowboy hat as things she'd gladly take away from him should the time come for them to split up.
“And these really expensive rounds of golf
You are still paying off this diamond
Know when you get caught
They will all be as good as mine”
The protagonist adds to her list her husband's expensive rounds of golf and the shimmering diamond engagement ring he's still paying off, before firing the warning shot that he could lose all of this if he gets caught cheating.
“And I called this lawyer in Dallas
The one who lives in this palace
So I know he's good at winning.
If you think you are missing something
And you start to get out
Only one thing can comfort me
If you leave me in San Antone
Think about maintenance.”
Miranda paints a mischievous picture of the lawyer she will hire to enforce her alimony, and emphasizes to her husband that he is incredibly rich – a sign that he always wins his cases.
She reminds him that of course she will be heartbroken if he feels like something is missing in their relationship and he starts pining for another lover. But she will also take comfort in the fact that she is receiving substantial alimony payments. The song revolves around a clever play on words, with Miranda phrasing the word “alimony” to sound like “Alamo-nee,” a place in San Antone.
“If you like living with your mom
And drink Milwaukee's Best on a used sofa
You will be amazed at how it all works
Because everything works for me
What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine
So go on, baby, have fun
I will count the dollars
You will roll the dimes
Freedom doesn’t come for free”
The narrator then adds salt to the wound by noting that if her husband enjoys living with his mother and drinking cheap Milwaukee's Best beer on an old couch, he will be more than happy with the way things work out in the event of a divorce.
She delivers the killer line: “Yes, what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” a play on words with the famous marriage proverb: “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.”
Miranda Lambert even encourages him to go out and enjoy life to the fullest, but she is aware that he will be broke in the process – because he will be able to free himself from the relationship for free.
“For the rich, not for the poor
Well, consider this your spoiler
If you think you can afford it
Well, you can't afford to have me too.”
Miranda Lambert turns one of the age-old marriage vows on its head, in which partners promise to love each other “for better or for worse,” before teasingly noting – spoiler alert – that her husband will surely fall into the latter category if he cheats on her.
He may think it's worth the hassle and financial pain of a breakup just to have a new love interest, but Miranda assures him it won't be, delivering another top-notch punchline: “If you think you can afford her / Well, then you can't afford me either.”
“Well, you won’t have a row to hack
Go ahead and show your show
If you want to be an idiot
Honey, I hope you remember the maintenance.”
Miranda Lambert reinforces the core message of “Alimony,” making it clear to her husband that he has nothing to fear if he's unfaithful, which is to say that he's in a tough spot. The “In His Arms” singer-songwriter reiterates that her partner can make a fool of himself with his “dog and pony show” – another term for an over-the-top, over-the-top display, perhaps referring to his nightlife escapades – before capturing the essence of the song in the final lines: “If you're a fool / Darling, then I hope you remember the alimony.”
What did Miranda Lambert say about child support?
Announcing her 2024 album Postcards From Texas, Miranda Lambert lovingly explained how her co-writer Shane McAnally came up with the name “Alimony”: “We were out in my barn; I was showing Shane and Natalie the horses and asked him if he had any other songs. He said he did, and I said, 'Excuse me?' Because your last one was 'Looking Back on Luckenbach,' and I didn't think you could top it. He said, 'Well, 'If you leave me in San Antone, don't forget the Alamo-neeeee…'” Natalie and I said, 'All right, Shane! Stop showing off.'”
Miranda recalled, “We went back to the house and got the guitars, and I specifically said, 'I want a shuffle, man.' I love shuffle so much, and this record needed a shuffle! I knew I wanted one in my set because I hadn't done one in a long time – and everybody loves shuffle,” before elaborating, “My parents were private investigators in Dallas, Texas, working on a lot of divorce cases in high-brow parts of town, so that wasn't hard to write. I'd heard about it my whole life.”
She mused: “Once we had the line – if you leave me in San Antone, don't forget the alimony – it took off! We intentionally used every Texas metaphor we could think of; we wanted to take something pretty shitty and put some humor back into it. I mean, the guy gets off pretty easy if he just moves back in with his mom.”
The full lyrics of “Alimony” by Miranda Lambert can be found below:
“Yes, this 1957 Cadillac
This mini-villa in a cul-de-sac
This 15-gallon Stetson hat
That you always wear
–
And those really expensive rounds of golf
You are still paying off this diamond
Know when you get caught
They will all be as good as mine
–
And I called this lawyer in Dallas
The one who lives in this palace
So I know he's good at winning.
If you think you are missing something
And you start to get out
Only one thing can comfort me
If you leave me in San Antone
Think about maintenance
–
If you like living with your mom
And drink Milwaukee's Best on a used sofa
You will be amazed at how it all works
Because everything works for me
What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine
So go on, baby, have fun
I will count the dollars
You will roll the dimes
Freedom is not free
–
Because I called this lawyer in Dallas
The one who lives in this palace
So I know he's good at winning.
If you think you are missing something
And you start to get out
Only one thing can comfort me
If you leave me in San Antone
Think about maintenance
–
For the rich, not for the poor
Well, consider this your spoiler
If you think you can afford it
Well, you can’t afford to
–
So when you start to get out
Only one thing can comfort me
If you leave me in San Antone
Think about maintenance
–
Well, you won't have a row to hack
Go ahead and show your show
If you want to be an idiot
Honey, I hope you remember the maintenance.”
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