wooden blocks. Personal ego or selfishness concept.getty
Different Types of Narcissism
Experts agree that there are different levels of narcissism that can be viewed on a spectrum from less severe to more severe narcissism. In general, narcissistic individuals have extreme self-focus, an inflated sense of self, and a strong need for approval and praise. Narcissism can also involve positive traits such as self-confidence, self-confidence, and the ability to celebrate the self.
If narcissism is a personality trait:
You can negotiate custody of the child with a spouse or co-parent if narcissism is a personality trait. There are tools you can use to negotiate a custody agreement with the narcissistic parent. Making them feel important, validating their contributions to the child, such as B. their shared interest in sports or art, can help the narcissistic parent reach agreement about things that are important to the child.
To have a successful negotiation with the narcissistic parent: Be clear and concise. Don’t show any emotional commitment. Set a time frame for each negotiation session and the number of sessions. Specify triggers that could derail negotiations and prepare responses to when, not if, they will take place. Such preparation can help the non-narcissistic parent negotiate with the narcissistic parent by recognizing how the narcissist is most likely to react and what needs to be done. Four tips for negotiating with a narcissist are:
1. Iron out specific details – fill out the worksheet;
2. Play with her narcissistic tendencies – stroke her ego;
3. Practice emotional detachment – practice mindful detachment;
4. Stand your ground – keep your confidence.
A personality trait is not a mental illness. Being narcissistic is not evidence of a mental illness.
If narcissism is a mental illness:
If narcissism is more than a personality trait but Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), then it is a mental illness. These narcissists have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. You cannot successfully negotiate custody with them. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care for the feelings of others, including their own children, to show empathy. In principle, they cannot enter into mutual relationships. This disorder affects more men than women.
This type of narcissism can be viewed as revenge, sadism, aggression, and paranoia. A person with malignant narcissism, or narcissism as a mental health diagnosis, may share traits with antisocial personality disorder.
Distinguishing between the types of narcissism
To distinguish between the types of narcissism, as a personality trait, narcissism is something most people can learn to live with. It can only occur occasionally. We can all possess some level of healthy narcissism. If you can be responsible for your own behavior, show insight, and develop healthy mutual relationships, you may have some narcissistic traits but not a personality disorder.
Narcissism as a mental illness causes tension in relationships and a lot of stress. This dysfunction can lead to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) diagnosis. Clinical narcissism protects the ego through maladaptive coping strategies. It is characterized by authoritarianism, envy, grandiosity, superficiality, and a lack of empathy and remorse. It tends to serve the individual with little or no respect for the greater good.
When narcissism is a mental health condition, it is not possible to deal with them effectively. It’s difficult to argue with them about custody, too.
The gray area between a personality trait and a mental illness:
Because narcissism can be viewed on a spectrum, there is a gray area between benign personality traits and narcissism as a personality disorder. These individuals can be viewed as having narcissistic tendencies in a situation, such as at work, but not in their domestic relationship with their spouse. Someone with NPD displays the narcissistic tendencies in all aspects of their life and the symptoms have been present since young adulthood.
You cannot deal with someone who has NPD and therefore you should be financially and emotionally prepared for litigation.
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I am a founding partner of Fersch LLC, a family law firm in New York City. I am co-chair of the Matrimonial Lawyers Pro Bono Law Project sponsored by the New York Women’s Bar Association and serve on the board of directors of the non-profit organization Community Word and Family Kind. I was named to the New York Super Lawyers list from 2013 to 2020.
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