While both parents have equal rights to raise their children, married or otherwise cohabiting parents make choices that work for their lives and the lives of their children while they are together. Sometimes a parent becomes a stay-at-home parent. Sometimes both parents return to work after the baby is born. And sometimes parents postpone work at all until a child reaches a certain age. What is always true is that when couples are together, they decide which parent will be the main parent when it comes to taking the kids to the doctor, to social or sporting events, helping with homework, etc. Without an actual decision Patterns emerge where a parent is the actual primary parent for a variety of reasons, including the demands of a job, the parents’ preferences, and many other reasons. If the parents separate and there are no contraindications, the roles of the parents should be maintained as much as possible. Why? For the stability of the children and because the way the parents have assigned their respective roles – free from domestic violence – suggests that the status quo ante should be viewed as being in their child’s best interests.
The children’s lives are disrupted by the separation of their parents. This applies regardless of the reason for the separation. It is clearly in children’s best interests to give them as much stability as possible during this stressful time over which they have little or no control or influence. However, state laws differ on what exactly happens when parents separate and disagree about their children’s lives. It seems practical that what should happen is to maintain the status quo ante. That is, the parents should remain in the same parenting roles as before the breakup as much as possible.
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