Shortly after my third wedding anniversary a year ago, I wrote in the Guardian about the gender risks associated with my decision not to work while studying. I had become a de facto housewife, even though I was working toward my career as an economist rather than doing the more traditional housewife work of raising children or supporting a husband.
Ten days after publishing my feminist economic analysis of housewifery, my marriage ended unexpectedly. In the months that followed, I went through the divorce process and sought a settlement that would not only help me complete my dissertation, but also address the inequality in my marriage that was reinforced by traditional gender roles. Going through this process has made it clearer than ever: women need to move beyond the narrative of a bitchy ex-wife punishing her husband by asking for support and consider that they should be financially compensated for the gendered economic impact of marriage and Divorce is due.
The concept of alimony dates back to ancient times and is based on the financial commitment of a marriage that goes beyond the marriage itself. Although it was originally based on the idea that wives were the property of husbands, it can be reinterpreted as a way to compensate women for the negative economic consequences and unique vulnerability they face in marriage after divorce.
It's no secret that marriage tends to have negative economic consequences for many women, from a marriage wage penalty to the tendency for women to move for their husband's career rather than the other way around (as is the case with academic couples). . However, these consequences also extend to the consequences of divorce, where women face negative and longer-lasting economic consequences. Sociologists Karen Holden and Pamela Smock argue that these negative consequences are only superficially related to the actual divorce event itself. Rather, they are the result, as they write in a co-authored article, of “the division of labor during marriage, lower wages paid to women both during and after marriage, and the lack of adequate transfers after dissolution.”
In fact, women are hurt by gender roles in marriage, economic discrimination against women, and a legal system that does not adequately address either of these issues.
Although the cultural perception of alimony portrays women as vengeful sluts who bleed their ex-husbands dry, in reality the system doesn't go far enough. This is acknowledged by Holden and Smock; They claim that there are no adequate financial transfers to women after divorce. The system is based on maintaining the ex-wife's standard of living before divorce, but does not take into account the broader economic disadvantages that marriage brings to women.
In my own divorce, I sought a settlement because it was emotionally easier to just get it over with than to maintain the bond through alimony or alimony. Additionally, alimony and child support payments would only be temporary until I could support myself, but would require more work in the legal system.
However, this process did not take into account that my relationship had shaped my course of study and my decision to stop working while I completed my dissertation. It also did not take into account how gender influenced these decisions. Men are less likely to take time off from their careers compared to women, which may explain why he wasn't willing to follow my career. (Although the gap in labor force participation between men and women is narrowing, women's labor force participation still remains lower than men's.)
As a woman, the decision to leave the job market was easier for me. Because it's much more common, I didn't get a lot of judgment from others and didn't feel as much pressure to make a living as he did.
The most important lesson I learned from this is that a woman – even a feminist economist – definitely loses her financial stability when she leaves the workforce. No one plans to get divorced, but it happens; Even a single earner could lose their job, die unexpectedly or suddenly become ill. But this is why we need to rethink divorce by acknowledging how gender structures shape marriage. Women should not be afraid to negotiate hard for fair support. That doesn't make a person a free rider, just a person who recognizes structural sexism.
Kate Bahn is co-editor of the Lady Economist blog and holds a PhD in economics from the New School for Social Research. She has also worked as a researcher for the Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis. Her research and writing focus is on the role of gender in the labor market in the United States.
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