'This sent my girlfriend into a rage I've never seen before': Guy throws 'End Of Alimony' party
With a glass-half-full mindset, a person can find almost any reason to celebrate beyond the usual suspects like birthdays, promotions, or other positive events. Some even believe that you shouldn't need a reason to celebrate. But are there things that shouldn't be celebrated?
A man wondered if he was wrong for wanting to celebrate the end of his brother's child support payments in Las Vegas. His girlfriend deeply disapproved of the idea and the t-shirt that OP and his friends had made for the brother, he searched the internet to see if he might be out of touch. Netizens expressed their thoughts on this issue.
Depending on the court order, maintenance payments can extend over years
Photo credit: Sung Shin (not the actual photo)
So a man decided to throw a party after paying his ex-wife
Photo credit: Diva Plavalaguna (not the actual photo)
Image source: ImpressiveDepth912
Maintenance payments have a long tradition
As is often the case, our ancestors had legal systems just as complicated as ours, and this concept extends to alimony as well. Both the Code of Hammurabi, which is nearly 4,000 years old, and the relatively “modern” Code of Justinian contain sections detailing how and what a husband should pay a divorced wife. The Code of Hammurabi even provides for child support payments in cases where the man has not even bothered to marry the woman.
This all means that OP's brother probably isn't the first person to throw an end-of-support party this year, let alone this millennium. In fact, the people of Hammurabi's time probably thought that simply paying cash was nothing compared to their laws, which required a man to provide property to a woman to ensure that she could afford to raise a child. It is also important to note that divorce and alimony have been an integral part of human civilization for as long as we have called it civilization. So OP's friend's argument misses the point a bit, as it's hard to call a practice that's older than most writing systems “in bad taste,” especially since it's not involved in exactly any way.
Depending on the state where OP's brother lived, he may not have had to pay support at all. While in his case it was five years, in states like Texas, Mississippi and Tennessee, alimony is only awarded if the marriage lasted ten years or longer. From this perspective, one could argue that OP's brother actually did more than was necessary in many places. Regardless, the question of why the friend thinks she knows better than a court in a case in which she is not a party is an interesting question that we simply won't get an answer to.
OP’s girlfriend’s reaction to the party leaves a lot of questions unanswered
Instead, as many commenters have noted, it's strange that OP's girlfriend has such a strong opinion, considering that as far as we know, she is not involved in any way and doesn't seem to know the ex-wife. While the celebration may be a little unorthodox, there seems to be nothing wrong with finding a little joy at the end of something bad. After a breakup, friends often go out for drinks with the person and perhaps party if they didn't like the partner at all.
It is also worth noting that at a certain age there may no longer be a “good” reason to meet up with friends and party. As you get older and gain more responsibilities, it can become increasingly difficult to organize something fun with your peers. A trip to Las Vegas “with the boys” sounds like a great time and a great way for OP’s brother to put an end to a failed marriage and years of alimony payments. The fact that OP's friend is reacting so strongly to something so insignificant (compared to her) might be a bit of a red flag, as it raises the question of how she'll react to something really important. If, as some speculate, she simply doesn't want OP to go to Vegas, lying about her feelings is a pretty terrible course of action.
All in all, OP should go and have the best time possible. It's best to look on the bright side: his brother recovering from an often-devastating trial, providing an opportunity to spend time with friends and a pretty unique story to tell if they make it through. Likewise, this is also a good opportunity to think a little more about OP's own relationship and understand why his girlfriend has such strong opinions. This can be an opportunity for growth and honest communication or a sign that he needs to move on.
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