WHAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR HALLOWEEN CO-PARENTING? – Little one custody blogs Posted by Gerard F. Miles

As Halloween approaches, kids should be able to look forward to their costumes, eat loads of candy, and enjoy vacation activities with friends and community. Teens shouldn’t worry about the details of mom and dad’s parenting agreement. Divorced parents need to keep the fun of the party in focus without their own desires affecting their child’s Halloween enjoyment.

Co-parents should be able to resolve their disputes for the good of the children, especially at an event as kid-centric as Halloween. While it isn’t easy, it is certainly best for your children to believe that their parents get along.

As a parent, you and your ex-partner are responsible for ensuring that your children’s needs come first. Developing a plan that puts your children at the center of the arrangement is the best way to ensure that the children do not feel torn or burdened by their parents’ expectations, who should be able, as adults, with the situation to deal with.

When is the best time to come up with a plan for a Halloween education together?
The best way to keep parenting issues from ruining the current Halloween fun is to work out the details in the parenting plan as you negotiate terms during the divorce. Many divorced couples discuss a vacation sharing plan and put the agreement in writing that gives legal legitimacy and a sense of authority.

If Halloween is not part of your signed co-parenting contract, at least discuss the agreement well in advance of the holidays so everyone has a chance to adjust their schedule accordingly.

What are some suggestions for co-parents?
Many co-parents agree to alternate Halloween every two years so that one parent can have the child for a year while the other parent takes them with them the following year. Other co-parents decide to split the leave so that one parent can take the child with them for a few hours before handing them over to the other parent for the second part of the evening. Still others try to allow the child to have both parents present for trick or treating, even if that means putting their own problems aside.

Since Halloween is a one-day holiday, there are only a few hours left to enjoy a trick or treating. If both parents can be there, it may be the best way to share the vacation with your child. It’s also a great opportunity to show your child that you and the other parents can put their differences aside to make Halloween special.

This approach also enables the child to have a say in which friends they would like to be with and which neighborhood or community they would like to visit for trick or treating.

What if the couple disagree about who has the kids on Halloween?
The day of the week on which the holiday falls can determine who has the children. If your joint parenting agreement doesn’t include a special Halloween arrangement, you may have no choice but to accept that your child’s other parent will have them on Halloween.

Unless otherwise agreed, the parent who has the child on the custody schedule on Halloween night may have to be allowed to trick or treat the child.

Is there any flexibility regarding Halloween in the co-parenting agreement?
If you can come up with a different plan that works better for everyone, no judge will tell you to follow the schedule set out in the official co-parenting agreement.

It would only become a problem if one or the other parent was dissatisfied with an adjustment to the plan and brought it to court as a point of contention.

Are there other options for families regarding Halloween?
If the situation is particularly uncomfortable or volatile, it may be better to make separate plans rather than force yourself into the day’s events. If so, there are plenty of Halloween-themed options to enjoy with your child in advance of the actual holiday. The night before Halloween or even the weekend before, you can take time for special bonding experiences, such as carving a pumpkin, watching horror films, telling ghost stories in the dark or visiting a haunted house.

With a little planning, you can spend time together creating your child’s costume for Halloween, or planning a trip to the pumpkin patch or a hay ride together.

Some communities have trunk-or-treat events, costume contests, or fall festivals that you may enjoy with your child. Perhaps you can also volunteer at their school to attend a fancy dress ball or help out with a school costume parade.

While not spending Halloween together may be a big deal for you, your child is likely to be more focused on the friends, activities, and goodies. If you stay positive, they’ll be okay with the plan that keeps the family drama in check, and they’ll be excited to tell you all about the fun when you’re back together.

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